Kaia Soleil De Guzman is nine, and her family shared a story about learning to lose, and getting back up again, something many adults still find hard. What follows is Kaia’s experience of Jiu-Jitsu and what it has taught her, as her family told it to us. Behind every icon is a parent who believed first. Iconic Glam Kids Editorial
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When Kaia first started Jiu-Jitsu, it felt brutal. She got tossed around. She left every practice sore, and she left frustrated more times than she could count. There were days when quitting sounded easier than walking back into the gym. This is a story about what she did with those days.
Competitions made it harder before they made it better. Losing in front of a crowd, in her words, stung so much that she would step off the mat wondering if she even belonged there. That feeling stayed with her for a while. It was heavy. A lot of children would have found a reason to stop, and no one would have blamed them.
No matter what knocks me down, on the mat or anywhere else, I have the power to pause, breathe, and rise again.
Kaia, age nine
A Moment for Parents
We share these features for more than the child at the center of them. Each one carries a question for the rest of us who are raising kids of our own.
Picture your own child stepping off the mat after a loss, in front of everyone, already sure they do not belong. The easy thing is to tell them it does not matter, or that they will win next time. The harder thing is to let the disappointment be real and trust them with what comes next. Kaia chose to walk back in. Would you have rushed to fix the feeling, or made room for it?
Learning to Lose Well
Kaia was featured in our December 2025 issue. She is a Jiu-Jitsu athlete first and a model second, and she has been doing both long enough to have a clear sense of what each one gives her. Her family shared her story with us in her own voice, and we have kept it close to the way it was told.
Jiu-Jitsu pushed one lesson into her, slowly, over and over. Losing does not make her a loser. Losing is part of learning. Every time she chose to step back onto the mat, she walked in a little stronger, a little braver, a little more sure of herself. It is a simple lesson and a hard one. It is not what you hear from a child who has been protected from every failure. It is what you hear from one who has been allowed to meet it.
Modeling, by her own account, became something different. Standing in front of a camera meant pretending she had it together, even if she had bombed a match earlier that week. The two activities balanced her out. Modeling shows the outside version of her. Jiu-Jitsu builds the inside. Together, they make her feel stronger, more focused, and proud of herself.
She still loses. She still gets mad. She still has days when disappointment hits hard. But she has also learned that no matter what knocks her down, on the mat or anywhere else, she has the power to pause, breathe, and rise again. Off the camera and off the mat, the week stays full. She also does cheer, gymnastics, and judo. She sounds like a child who has decided that almost every athletic discipline is worth trying at least once.
Kaia, in Her Own Words
What was the hardest part of starting Jiu-Jitsu?
It felt brutal. I got tossed around and I left sore, and losing in front of a crowd stung so much that I would wonder if I even belonged there.
What changed?
Losing does not make me a loser. Losing is part of learning. Every time I stepped back on the mat, I walked in a little stronger, a little braver, a little more sure of myself.
How is modeling different from Jiu-Jitsu?
Modeling shows the outside version of me. Jiu-Jitsu builds the inside. Together they make me feel stronger, more focused, and proud of myself.
Every time I stepped back on the mat, I walked in a little stronger, a little braver, a little more sure of myself.
Kaia, age nine
Behind Every Little Star
Every shining child has a story, and a guiding light behind them. Here are the ideas Kaia’s family leans on.
Let struggle do its work. Children do not become resilient because life is easy. They become resilient because they are given the space to struggle, learn, and rise. It shows in the way Kaia was allowed to meet the hard parts of Jiu-Jitsu rather than be spared them.
Reward the return, not only the result. Children do not need perfection to grow. They need permission to keep trying. What mattered was that Kaia chose to step back onto the mat, again and again, not whether she won that day.
Let her carry it herself. Every stumble, every loss, every brave return shapes the stronger version of who she is becoming, and that confidence is hers to keep, on the mat and off it.
It is a simple approach and a hard one to practice. It means watching a nine-year-old lose in a room full of people and trusting that the walk back will teach her something no comforting words can. Kaia is the kind of child who walks back onto the mat after a loss and onto the runway after a win, and looks the same on both.
Draw it, little star
Here is one for the young readers. Draw a picture of a time you tried something hard and did not get it right the first time. Maybe you fell off a bike, missed a note, or dropped the ball. Now draw the same you, one week later, trying again. What is different about your face in the second picture? That difference has a name. It is called brave.
From the Editor’s Desk
There is a piece of Positive Discipline that parents rediscover the hard way. A child does not build confidence by being kept from failure. She builds it by surviving failure and finding herself still standing. Our instinct as parents is to remove the sting, to explain it away, to promise the next result will be kinder. Kaia’s story is a case for doing less of that. The kid who learns to lose well is the kid who will one day know how to win well. The order matters. The losing comes first.
So the next time your child steps off the field with that heavy, certain look, you might try saying very little. You might let the loss be real, sit beside it, and trust the walk back. That trust is not neglect. It is the deepest kind of faith a parent can offer.
Our hope is that these pages help a family recognize the strength that is one day truly the childโs own, and stand beside it while it is still forming. Not performance, but presence.
I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning how to sail my ship.
Louisa May Alcott
ICONIC GLAM KIDS | KAIA SOLEIL DE GUZMAN | AGE 9
Kaia Soleil De Guzman was featured in Iconic Glam Kids, the magazine for children and the parents who believe in them first.
Behind every icon is a parent who believed first.