What do you do when the feeding plan you made before your baby arrived stops working? This week, one new mom shares what she changed after a checkup, and the three simple questions that helped her change it. If you are pumping, supplementing or second-guessing a feeding choice tonight, this one is for you. Iconic Glam Kids Editorial
Flexibility is not failure.
Patricia, Luccaโs mom
When a baby is not back to birth weight at a checkup, a feeding plan can change in a single afternoon. That is what happened in the first weeks of Lucca Enrico Krugerโs life. Lucca was the Editorโs Choice baby in our October 2026 Notes Edition, and his mom, Patricia Travanti Mendes, wrote about that moment for The Formative Years. What she learned is short enough to remember at 3 a.m., and we think every new parent should hear it.
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What Do You Do When the Plan Stops Working?
Luccaโs mom is an architect and project manager. โI am used to making plans,โ she shared. โI think through details, anticipate problems, and work toward an outcome.โ Her feeding plan was clear: she would breastfeed exclusively. In the first weeks, that meant working on his latch, using a nipple shield and pumping.
Then came the second pediatrician appointment, and the news that Lucca had not yet returned to his birth weight. So what did she do? She added formula, something that had never been part of her plan, while also figuring out whether he had a cowโs milk protein allergy. In her words, โGiving him the best possible start now meant accepting a different approach to feeding.โ
You might be wondering whether changing course that quickly means giving up. She would tell you it means the opposite. The goal never changed. Only the route did.
Baby Not Back to Birth Weight? Three Questions That Help
Here is what she did next, and why we think it works. Instead of measuring her days against the version she had pictured before Lucca was born, she started asking three practical questions:
- What does Lucca need today?
- What is working for him?
- What help do I need?
โThose questions bring me back to the baby in front of me,โ Luccaโs mom shared. Each one points to today and to something you can act on, which is exactly where a tired parent has the most power. And the third question gives you permission to ask for help, from a partner, a lactation consultant, your pediatrician or a friend. We really think these three are worth passing on. Write them on a sticky note and keep it wherever you feed your baby.
If you are thinking about adding formula, start with your pediatrician. Childrenโs Minnesotaโs guide to supplementing with formula explains how and when parents can add formula to a breastfed babyโs diet. For more stories from the first years, visit our early childhood parenting hub.
Something to Keep in Mind
The line she keeps returning to is four words long: โFlexibility is not failure.โ She added, โSometimes, changing course is how we care for the child we love.โ Whatever ends up in the bottle, the part of feeding that matters most stays the same. She described it simply: when she carries Lucca close to her chest, he sometimes falls asleep against her, and for a while she is โsimply holding my son.โ
And Lucca himself? At two months old, his mom describes him as curious and observant, a baby who looks around as if he is trying to understand everything happening around him. We loved that detail. He is already doing what she learned to do: paying close attention to what is right in front of him.
A Moment for Parents
Think about the plan you made before your baby arrived. Which part of it is still serving your baby today, and which part might be ready to change? Asking that question is not giving up. It is paying attention.
If You Are Changing the Plan
If you are expecting, make your feeding plan, and hold it loosely. As Luccaโs mom put it, โYou can care deeply about a plan and still decide to change it.โ
If you are in the early weeks, ask the three questions: what does my baby need today, what is working, and what help do I need? Then bring the answers to your pediatrician.
If you have already switched or started supplementing, you are allowed to feel two things at once. In her words, โYou can feel disappointed and grateful in the same day.โ
In Her Words
Her advice to another new mother: โLeave space for your experience to unfold differently.โ And one more line from her feature that we hope every parent keeps: โAsk for help, trust yourself a little more each day, and donโt measure your motherhood by one difficult moment.โ
Meet Luccaโs Mom
Patricia Travanti Mendes
Patricia Travanti Mendes is an architect and project manager living in Evanston, Illinois, and a first-time mother to her son, Lucca. She wrote โLearning to Change the Planโ for The Formative Years in our October 2026 Notes Edition.
From the Editorโs Desk
Positive Discipline asks parents to focus on solutions instead of blame, and that is exactly what her three questions do. โWhat does my baby need today?โ moves the attention away from what went wrong with the plan and toward what will help right now. It is a habit worth building early, because the same question will serve you at the toddler table, at bedtime and, years from now, when homework gets hard.
Positive Discipline also teaches that mistakes are wonderful opportunities to learn. A changed feeding plan is not even a mistake. It is new information, used well. When we treat our own course corrections with that kind of kindness, our children grow up watching what it looks like to adjust without shame.
โThere is no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one.โ
Jill Churchill
ICONIC GLAM KIDS | NOTES EDITION | LUCCA ENRICO KRUGER | AGE 2 MONTHS
Lucca Enrico Kruger and Patricia Travanti Mendes were featured in the October 2026 Notes Edition of Iconic Glam Kids, the childrenโs magazine for little ones and the parents who believe in them first.