Trust Your Mom Instincts: The Feeling Doctors Called Normal

What If You Are Told It Is Normal?

“Within the first 24 hours, we questioned his breathing,” Nova’s mom shared. “I couldn’t explain it, but my body knew.” She did not have a name for the problem or a number on a monitor. She had one day of close attention and a feeling she could not put into words.

So she spoke up. “When I mentioned it to doctors, they said, ‘This is normal.’ One even told me, ‘Get to know your baby better.’” She was honest about what that did to her: “I almost believed them. I doubted myself. And I almost lost him.” At three months old, Nova became critically ill. Because she had stayed alert, “watching for something I couldn’t quite name,” she did not miss it.

You might be wondering how a parent is supposed to tell the difference between worry and a real warning sign. Her answer is the heart of this story.

Trust Your Mom Instincts: Four Steps That Help

“When you’re a new mom, that nagging certainty that something’s off, it’s not anxiety. It’s information,” she wrote. “You spend every moment with your child. You see patterns no one else sees.” Then she did something we love: she turned the feeling into steps. Trusting your instincts, she wrote, “doesn’t mean rushing to the ER every time.” It means:

• Mention it. More than once if needed.
• Ask for a second opinion if “it’s probably fine” doesn’t sit right.
• Keep advocating if your gut is still screaming.
• Stop apologizing for worrying.

And the line that makes her advice safe to follow: “Even when you’re wrong, that’s okay. That’s motherhood.” A worry that turns out to be nothing is not a failure. It is one more observation, and the next one will be better informed. We really think these four steps are worth passing on. Save them in your phone, next to your pediatrician’s number.

If you are unsure whether a symptom needs a call, Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia’s tips on when to call your pediatrician are a helpful place to start. For more stories from the first years, visit our early childhood parenting hub.

Something to Keep in Mind

Her instincts were not only an alarm. Later, when the family was given a cautious forecast about whether Nova would walk, the same attention told her what her son could do. “I knew this kid,” she wrote. “He already survived so much.” She was careful to say the feeling belongs to every kind of caregiver: “It matters if you’re a first-time parent. It matters if you are a young parent. It matters if you are a foster parent or a grandparent. It matters if you can’t perfectly explain it. Trust it anyway.”

And Nova himself? Today, at almost three, his mom calls him “lightning fast.” He runs, jumps and climbs, and he gives the best hugs. His days start and end with snuggles. We loved that detail: after a first year that asked so much of him, the daily measure in his home is a hug at sunrise and another at bedtime.

In Her Words

Her advice to a new mom is short and warm: “You are doing a great job. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. It really does take a village.” She closed her essay with a line every parent can keep: “Your worry doesn’t make you neurotic. It makes you a mother who’s paying attention. Your gut knows things your brain hasn’t figured out yet. Trust it.”

From the Editor’s Desk

Positive Discipline asks us to have faith in our children, and Nova’s story shows that faith starts with paying attention. The same close watching that told his mom something was wrong also told her what he was capable of. When a parent believes a child is capable, that belief shows up in a thousand small choices: the extra try, the patient wait, the encouragement in place of doubt.

Jennifer also wrote about an idea we teach often: you cannot pour from an empty cup. A parent who is watching, questioning and advocating needs refilling too. Accepting help from a partner, family, friends or a care team is not a break from caring for your child. It is how you keep noticing.

You Might Be Wondering…

How do I know if it’s my instinct or just new-mom worry?

You do not have to sort that out on your own. Jennifer’s point is that the feeling itself is worth sharing: “It’s not anxiety. It’s information.” Say exactly what you noticed and when, and let your pediatrician help you read it. If it turns out to be nothing, that is okay too. In her words, “That’s motherhood.”

What if my pediatrician says it’s normal, and I still feel something is off?

Use her steps: mention it again, ask for a second opinion if “it’s probably fine” doesn’t sit right, and keep advocating. If your baby seems to be struggling to breathe, or anything feels urgent, do not wait. Call your pediatrician or emergency services right away.

Does this apply if I am a foster parent, a grandparent or new to my child?

Yes. Jennifer had known Nova for one day when she first spoke up. She wrote, “It matters if you are a foster parent or a grandparent. It matters if you can’t perfectly explain it. Trust it anyway.”

“Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do.”

Dr. Benjamin Spock

ICONIC GLAM KIDS | NOTES EDITION | NOVA RYAN | AGE 2 | Photograph by Lindsay Cooley

Nova Ryan and Jennifer Ryan were featured in the August 2026 Notes Edition of Iconic Glam Kids, the children’s magazine for little ones and the parents who believe in them first.