Postpartum Depression After IVF: Struggling and Still Being a Good Mom

She learned that the hard way. Her path to her son did not come easily. It took multiple rounds of IVF before her son arrived, and when he finally did, the early days held two things at once. There was the joy she had waited so long for. And there was postpartum depression after IVF, sitting right beside it.

Many mothers who wait a long time for a baby feel they have given up the right to find the early months hard. After all that wanting, how could the arrival be anything but happy? Her answer is honest. Becoming a mom, she wrote, “felt like both a miracle and a responsibility I carry deeply.” A miracle is something you receive. A responsibility is something you carry. Both were true at the same time.

She has chosen to say the hard part out loud. The early days, in her own words, were “overwhelming, isolating, and uncertain.” She is careful to add that those days “are not a reflection of your worth as a mother.” Postpartum depression after IVF, or after any birth, can arrive right beside deep love. It does not mean the love was smaller. It does not mean the mother is failing.

She speaks about it now for a simple reason. It is, she wrote, “something I now speak about openly because so many women silently endure it.”

“You can rebuild and come back stronger,” she added. “And sometimes, the most powerful stories are the ones we almost didn’t think we’d survive.” It is the kind of truth that is easier to believe about someone else than about yourself, which is exactly why it helps to hear it from a mother who has lived it.

Two years later, she stands in a very different place. She is completing her master’s degree, preparing for a future in public service, and turning her work toward maternal mental health. “What once felt like my hardest chapter has become part of my purpose,” she wrote. “Motherhood didn’t pause my dreams, it reshaped them. It gave them meaning beyond myself.”

The thing that surprised her most was not the love. “I thought love would be the hardest part to explain,” she wrote, “but it’s actually the balance: holding space for your child while still finding your own identity.” For a new mom who feels she has disappeared into feeds and naps, that line is worth reading twice. In her telling, it was never one or the other. “Growth doesn’t stop when you become a parent,” she wrote. “It expands. You evolve alongside your child.”

Her days now are full, with a master’s program, responsibilities, and a toddler. One part of them refuses to move fast. “No matter how busy life gets,” she wrote, “we slow down. We read, cuddle, and just be together.” It is in those simple, steady minutes that she feels most connected to him. “It reminds me,” she wrote, “that presence matters more than perfection.”

For a mother who once found the early days isolating, that steady stretch of closeness each night is not a small thing. It is a daily reminder, for both of them, that they made it here together.

For the Mom Facing Postpartum Depression After IVF

In Her Words

If she could sit beside a new mom today, this is what she would want her to hear: “You are doing better than you think. The early days can feel overwhelming, isolating, and uncertain, but they are not a reflection of your worth as a mother. Give yourself grace. Healing, learning, and bonding all take time. You don’t have to have it all figured out. Trust your instincts, ask for help when you need it, and remember that strength sometimes looks like simply showing up, again and again.” (Danielle Zulk, Alexander’s mom)

From the Editor’s Desk

In Positive Discipline, we often say that children learn more from what we model than from what we tell them. A parent who asks for help, rests when she can and names hard feelings honestly is teaching a toddler, long before he has words for it, that struggle can be survived and support is normal. Taking care of yourself so you can care for your child is not a break from parenting. It is part of it.

One practical step: choose one small, steady thing each day that refills you, and protect it the way she protects bedtime. It might be a short walk, a call with a friend, or ten minutes to yourself while someone else holds the baby. If what you feel is more than tiredness, reaching out to your own doctor or someone you trust is care for your whole family, and support is available any time through Postpartum Support International. Every child deserves a parent who is looked after too. You will find more honest stories like this one in The Formative Years.

“Although the world is full of suffering, it is full also of the overcoming of it.”

HELEN KELLER

ICONIC GLAM KIDS | NOTES EDITION | ALEXANDER ZULK | AGE 2 | Photograph by Danielle Penn

Alexander and Danielle Zulk were featured in the May 2026 Notes Edition of Iconic Glam Kids, the magazine for children and the parents who believe in them first.

Behind every little star is a parent who believed first.